Grandpa's song!!

Many of you may not know, but I lost my grandparents to a car accident in 1997. It was the first experience of death that I had ever been close to. They were headed back to their house in Fortuna, CA in the rain when they hydro-plained into a redwood tree at 70 mph. They were both killed instantly. I had gone with my mom to see them that day and we heard about it when we got home. Honestly, I can't remember how I felt. I was scared and confused, almost in a denial stage where I didn't want to believe it. Over the next few months, I started to miss them terribly, but I never let my emotions show. As a young kid, I was never able to express how I truly felt, so I just kept everything inside. I still miss them alot, but I have alot of great memories with them. I still don't know why they were taken when they were. It still hurts, yet somehow we all press on. I have alot of cool memories of both of them, but my relationship with my grandfather was a special one. We spent alot of time together when I was young. He spoiled me rotten, no douobt about it. Pretty much anything I wanted, within reason, I got, much to my parents dismay. There was so much I admired about him. He was quiet, often to himself, but full of love and pride for his grandsons. He would often take walks in the forests by himself, just taking in the beauty and peace. I definitely saw parts of me in him. A couple months ago, I decided to let out my feelings in a song for him. The first verse is his, but the rest of the song has my grandmother in mind as well. The song deals with the emotions I felt in their deaths: the anger, the pain, the sorrow, but also the joy in the memories that remain alive in me today. The ironic thing about this post is I'm going up to Fortuna this weekend for Easter to visit some other family members. I hate going up there because it feels so cold without them living in it. It's amazing how a place can hold such beauty when someone we love is there. And although it holds beauty within itself, when the ones we love are gone, that place might as well be Hell to us. The beauty I once saw there is gone. They buried it with my grandparents. It may be hard this weekend, but I hope I can just love the people around me and be blessed by that. Anyway, here's the song. I hope everyone who has lost a loved one can relate to it and know that their feelings are shared. To Grandma and Grandpa Jones. I love you very much. Happy Easter everybody!!!

Grandpa’s song

I still remember my days as a child
Skipping rocks on the Eel river shore
Piggy-back rides down on Main Street, Fortuna
We waved as the cars passed us by
Made a trip down to the donut shop
I never left empty-handed
Face full of cheer, with my hands on your beard
Never fearing things to come.

Chorus: When memories sometimes fail me
I won’t let go, I won’t let go
To pictures that lead me far outside my town
And curse the moon and the sky at night
But I’ll see you soon, I just hope that I’ll be alright.

There’s something about the air up north that leaves me suffocating
And the wind blows like a ghost town without a sound on School street
But amidst all the tragedy, I found an interesting lesson
Invest in people, here’s our sequel to an otherwise disappointing ending

Chorus

Bridge: The time we spent, I’ll never forget
We love by example and yours' gave me wings to fly
And I’m catching the current, beginning to soar
I’ll miss you, till I see you one day on that distant shore.
But right now I don’t know if I can make it, I don’t know if I can take it, this pain.

Chorus: … Damn the moon, I hate the sky when it rains at night
And I’m trying hard not to cry, just let all this fear subside, I hope I’ll be alright.