Life and Death 101

My grandfather passed away Thursday morning. My family knew it was coming. He had been really sick for the past couple weeks and towards the last stretch, had even given up eating, which if you could have ever met my grandfather, you would know that this alone meant he had given up his will to live. I feel sad from time to time thinking about him, but I'm glad he's not suffering anymore. And I think there is something easier in the mourning process when you expect it, almost want them to go, rather than the unexpected. The interesting thing is my friends, Jordan and Ally just had their baby boy, Soren, a couple of weeks ago. It truly is fascinating how with each life that ends, one begins. And it seems that the journey of one's life is always a means to an end, death. This is what we're led to believe anyway. In a sense, death is a part of the journey and should not be forgotten or dismissed. However, it seems all too often that the focus is put so soley on death, that we forget about living life. I know I've been a little cynical and frankly, angry at all things christian of late, so forgive me if I sound a little embittered. I used to hear, growing up, that those who didn't accept Christ into their lives, were going to hell. This was very puzzling to me, for many reasons, but what I often remember was the idea that people were lost, and life was a journey to find Christ before it was too late. People would be frantically praying, fasting, whatever they could for Joe Blow, who was on his death bed, so he could say those saving words of acceptance before his last breath. Or how someone would unexpectedly die early in their life and the first thing someone would ask was, "Was he or she a christian?" These things mostly just piss me off now, but for along time, I was held captive by these thoughts. This incredible fear that damnation was hinged on your faith, belief, or religion. Life really was a race against father time to accept Christ as the only truth, so as to escape the horrific fate of an eternity in hell. So I said those words of acceptance when I was 7, out of fear, after seeing a movie, where the message was exactly that. Unfortunately, I still see it today. I think that life is steering us towards death. The lessons learned, the joys, the sorrows, they're all there to ultimately get us to a place where we can face death without fear. But what we know is life and that is where the focus should be, the here and now. I can't just hammer religion because I think Society is the same way. In fact, religions' focus on the afterlife is a good metaphor for how Society looks at life. It seems no matter where I turn, people always want to know where your going, what's down the road, are you prepared for the future, what are your plans? No one seems to care about where or who you are right now. So I guess it's not a problem of religion, but rather of fear. People are bound to it and it controls every decision, belief, or reaction. I don't claim to have any answers, in fact, I find that I am crippled by fear too. I just wish it were different. I wish people could embrace life and live it fully, knowing that each step we take doesn't push us towards death, but instead leads us there. We are all the same. None of us know what lies beyond the grave and while we are alive, none of us ever will. Our focus should be on encouraging and loving one another where we are at, today. Not worried about it because you may not have a tomorrow. But helping and lifting one another up so if we happen to not see tomorrow, we left life feeling good about it. Just some meanderings from life and death 101. Don't worry, I'm not the teacher. I'm just a simple student like everybody else, still waiting for the teacher to arrive. I hope he shows up soon.