Brokeness leads to Redemption!

A friend of mine recently wrote on how down he is on life right now. The only reason I feel compelled to write a blog of my own is because I can't comment on his. The website expired me. Basically, I just want to encourage him and all others who are struggling with the meaninglessness of life. I struggle with this all the time. It seems every day floats right past you. You feel like you want to pause it so you can breathe, but you can't. Everything is exactly what it seems. Sometimes I too feel like I 'm waiting for something to blow my mind and the only thing that does is the Chicago Bears. Believe me, I love my Bears, but it is just football and there is more important things in life. This my friends, the very fact that life seems so mundean, is what test's our faith so much. Sometimes having faith in something is the hardest part about being a human. Honestly, for me, it would be impossible if I didn't see it in others. People don't realize how important we are to each other. To see Faith lived out, to be apart of watching someone grow stronger makes us stronger. It builds our Faith. The truth is, I hate being broken. I hate feeling like a failure. I hate the fact that I can't get away from the one sin that hurts me the most, that hurts my faith the most, lust. Sometimes, I feel like a con-man who goes to Church and tries to be open and honest with everyone, but hides his lust out of fear, out of shame. I was watching this documentary on Satanic Worship on the History channel the other night and it was interesting how the worshippers basically believe in the philosophy that you should embrace your feelings and your impulses and act on them proudly, thanking Satan for them. It scared the shit out of me because that's me, besides the whole "thanking Satan" part. I do embrace the natural, sinful impulses I have. I do act on them. I embrace them over Christ and it kills me. All I want is to live for Christ and find joy in it. I know life is corrupt and vile. Hell, I'm corrupt and vile! I'm just sick of living drenched in sin. I honestly do feel like an avalanche is falling on me and I can't escape. But I also know that this knowledge and desire to change is the first step to brokenness that leads to redemption. I'm almost to the point of not turning on the T.V unless it is a game or The Office. I can't continue to put myself in situations to embrace sin. Father, please have mercy on your child. I believe that when we reach the point where we are so battered we can't go on any more, only then will our eyes be opened to see Redemption just beyond the haze. Jars of Clay has a song entitled, Redemption. It really spoke to me, especially after reading my friend's blog. Here are the lyrics. I think they conclude my thoughts perfectly:

We made it to a strange town

Going down the wrong road

Like any story retold

We couldn't find a common ending

We're way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

We needed a distraction

You said you were redemption

We knew it as a wrong turn

We couldn't know the things we'd gain

When we reach the other border

We look out way down past the road we came from

We're looking at redemption

It was hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

We never would come this way

Looking for redemption

We were looking out past the road we came from

Looking at redemption

Hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

We never would have come this way

Looking for redemption

In the eyes of sorrow, eyes of rage

What a sordid histories they played

The drama of redemption

Redemption