Music, More Music, And Meditation!!

Things have been pretty slow lately for Filling the Void. Kellen has moved out to the boondocks or "Mt. Gilead" as it is more properly called. We haven't practiced in a couple of weeks, and while Ben and I have been writing new material, I can't help but wonder where it is all going. I want to write lyrics myself, but every time I actually sit down to write, everything that comes out sucks. It is quite frustrating. We do have a show at Thanksgiving Lutheran Church on Jan. 6th, 2007. John might play piano for us which will be awesome. Maybe I just need to be more patient. It was fun playing with Almost There last Friday at Friday Night Jams. You guys are all awesome. Not only talented, but you are all very special to me and I value our friendship greatly. Honestly, I can't help but hope that the terrorists take out all California universities and anything having to do with astrophysics (The study of "Astropops"). MMMMMMM Tasty!! I know you gotta do what ya gotta do, but I would hate to see Almost There end. Oh Well!! Anyway, on another note, some people at Medtronics might be starting a musician club. That might be cool if it actually happens. There are some talented people there. We'll see what happens. I have been listening to Radiohead's The Bends and Tool's Lateralus lately. Both are awesome. Musically both have alot to gain from. Lyrically, I think Radiohead is beautiful. I think I have been too cynical lately. Nothing excites me except DA BEARS!!! Sometimes I feel ready to give up. I believe in Christ and all His Glory. I just don't know how far His grace will go? One thing Carl has been pounding home lately is the pursuit of Holiness and the desire to please God with everything we do. I know that it is God's grace that allows us to pursue Holiness before Him, I just don't know if I can keep going after failing so much. I try to guard my mind from evil, but that works for about a half a second till I realize my mind itself is evil. I can't focus on anything without being side-tracked into destruction. What's worse is Christmas is here, the time of year where you can't breathe because your so conjested by all the holiday cheer around you. I don't have any time to actually stop and even meditate on the things I'm writing about right now. Thanks to anyone who is still reading this and cares at all. I don't mean to always sound so depressing, I just want my life to matter. I want to see God working in my life. I want to feel motivated to press on in my faith regardless of the setbacks. I do see it in small areas such as friends and family, especially the younger children. They have a way of softening even the hardest of hearts. I guess I just want more. These bright spots are what truly keeps me going. So, as one of my favorite songs says, "It's been a long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last." Much Love to you all.