Retirement Plan

If there is one thing I wish I didn't have to hear ever again, it would be hearing how I need to plan for retirement. "You don't make enough money now", "you need to set up a 401k", "you should be putting money aside now while your still young", and my personal favorite, "Make sure when you get married to set up a pre-numptual aggreement, that way if anything happens, she can't take your money"! It is hard enough getting through each day without worrying. To add financial burden 40 years down the road, just shoot me and get it over with. I recieved an email from some family members dealing with these topics and how my music is a nice hobby, but it should not override the importance of a good education and career. I know they mean well, but I'm not going to waste my life away saving up all this retirement money only to die and return to the dust from which I came. I guess we just hate to state that fact, but that is exactly what it is, a fact. I'm thankful that God has opened my eyes to this and I am not blindly chasing after material things. There is so much more to life. Anyway, I wrote a song after reading the email. It has some angst behind it, but I hope the focus is not on spiting the people who have given me bad advice, but rather a chance to share an opposite point of view that places more value in others than money or other selfish things. The title Retirement Plan, is kind of a bit of comical irony to show what I believe a retirement plan really looks like. Ultimately, the real retirement, death, is what we have to look forward to. I think we can prepare better with our lives rather than our wallets or purses. So here is Retirement Plan:

Retirement Plan

I just can’t seem to get to sleep
My mind is treading water that’s much too deep
I feel the sharks, they’re all around me
Telling me I’ll never amount to anything
The amount in your pocket makes the man.

They say that money doesn’t grow on trees
But I’ve seen it on the branches of anxiety
Am I doing enough, Do I have the strength to be tough
When my turn comes around to climb the corporate ladder to freedom.

Chorus: I won’t let you drag me down
And I won’t stand in line to wear your faithless crown
My future is uncertain, I may never grow old
But one thing I know for sure, it was never the rose, but the thorns that saved me

When did we deem a piece of paper to have more value than my brother or my sister
Love takes the color of envy, Is this what it comes to be?

So here’s society’s greatest sin
Like a brand new pair of shoes we’ve all been broken in
The illusion of purpose only creates a bigger burden
So pass down all their wisdom to all of your children
The Economy is in their hands.
Chorus

Complacency

This is a song I wrote about the superficial ways of relationships in our culture today. I think we try to ignore the emotions inside of us as, not important, and subdue them beneath our shallow crust that we put so much emphasis on. I have had relationships in the past that I used for this song, but in actuality, it is mostly inspired by the movie Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. It's weird because the movie was great, but it wasn't my favorite or anything. I think I was just moved by the encompassing point behind it that we can't be afraid of letting each other know who we really are. It's impossible to love someone without going beyond the perceptions we have from the outside. It is a song about deciding to love someone enough to tell them that things have to change, otherwise there is nothing here. I think at some point, we all have to let down our guard and realize that if we break down our shells and love one another for who they are, we will experience something powerful and a passion worth living for. In this song, one person recognizes this and the other doesn't. It sucks because the feelings are still there and its painful, but it's clear that it would be more painful to ignore a relationship based on unimportant things. I have ideas for other vocals and possibly viola in this song that I think might add alot. We'll see how it pans out, anyway, here are the lyrics to Complacency.

Complacency
You were settling, You were settling, and I was so confused.
If we don’t talk we could just chalk it up as a misunderstanding.
It’s easier to feel when you don’t have to deal with who we are.
But a feeling can be just as misleading when your on unstable ground.

And I can’t go on like this…

Chorus: Tell me if what we have was meant to be
I never wanted our love to be based on our vanities.
Screams of complacency have drowned out my sanity.
And I can’t forgive myself for letting us feel that everything is fine.

Stop this pretending, you’ll just make it worse.
A relationship full of regrets
I’m left with conviction, but you’ll never listen, you’ve already made up your mind.
What started so beautiful ends with the bottle
And I’ll drink to fill what love left so dry

‘Cause you and I we are all out of time

Chorus
Musical Interlude
Chorus

Outro: I wish I could have changed, I wish I could have changed you.

Thoughts & Decorations

One day, I went out to lunch with a couple people from work. The guy I was driving with started a conversation on all the crappy things that are happening in the world right now. As he parked the car, we both saw a man help this other guy in a wheel chair cross the busy intersection. He made the comment to me that it was random acts of kindness like that that gave him hope in humanity. For some reason, that statement just stuck with me. I think we humans so often disect the problems that we see in the world with glossy eyes. We always want to look past ourselves to try and solve the evil we see, completely avoiding the evil inside of us. I had been struggling with God and not seeing any bright spot where I could say, "Thank you God for showing me direction". Of course, I wasn't actually pursuing Him either. Anyway, I sat down and wrote this song entitled Thoughts and Decorations. It's a song that is about understanding the truth about us and how we truly are evil deep down. I think we often don't want to go there because when we do, it frightens us more than anything. We think we can control who we are and what we do, but the fact is we are so small in the scheme of things.

Thoughts and Decorations

Someone once told me of their hope in humanity
I just don’t know why you would have that much faith in me.
We haven’t learned much from history, inhale lies like the air we breathe
Just one more modern philosophy becomes reality.

Chorus: What matters is only what’s right for you,
Then how come it all feels so damn wrong.
We tell ourselves to believe that if we all just get along, there would be no pain
What could be more simple, but my heart is so cold, and in fact,
I believe yours is too.

I remember the stars so bright out in the Arizona desert sky
The colors painted a picture so captivating.
It’s in this place where I feel so small, clear my head and break down the walls
God can you hear me ‘cause I don’t feel your presence here, it’s scaring the hell out of me

Chorus

Bridge: The deeds have all been done, the caskets have been filled.
Pride was to blame for their downfall.
The only hope we have is to set aside ourselves
We all want a Savior as long as He sits quietly on the shelf.
Chorus

Disheartened

This song I actually wrote the same day as the one I posted before. It was weird because it took me so long to get to the point where I could finish lyrics and be happy with them, that to write another one in the same day was kind of bizarre. I guess it was just built-up material that was waiting to be poured out. Anyway, I have gone through about 6 or 7 titles for this song and none of them worked for an extended period of time. My latest is Disheartened, which I think will be the final, but if you guys have something better, feel free to let me know. This song is just about the depravity of Man and how it can seem like we try so hard to be good and Holy, but we fall every time, each one harder than the next. I think the disheartening fact is that society seems to encourage us in our selfishness. They want to see collateral damage as we rise to the pinnacle of success. As I wrote the lyrics, it became a song about me striving to be different, to not follow the norm. I think it is a song that can bring inspiration to all of us to change. Hope you like it.

Disheartened

I can’t retrace my steps back to when I saw promise in your eyes.
Now there’s only white-washed glances
It’s left me terrified, A heart turned cold by selfish pride.

Chorus: And ain’t it a shame how we get one step closer and yet were so far away
A work in progress, but only till were distressed.
We are a generation of people lost in themselves
Walking on everyone else, whatever it takes to rise above the rest.

You tell me you want peace on earth
As long as it is on your terms.
The masses see through relative eyes
When there’s no absolutes, we hide behind our own disguise.

Chorus

Bridge: I refuse to be a politician
I refuse to sugarcoat the facts
We are dying, Greed consuming
Controlled by our lusts, determines our direction
Corporations, false sensations
Have mercy on our souls!

Chorus