I feel pushed into this one...

Usually, this is where I makeup some pathetic excuse as to why I haven't blogged in so long. But not today. In fact, If the good Lord hadn't beckoned for another rambling, you all would still be waiting. What can I say, I feel uninspired. Nothing has really grabbed me, screaming, "wake up" like I would love it to. I just finished "The Wire", an HBO series on life in the streets of Baltimore. It was amazing. Hands down, the best television series I have ever seen. Every episode was like watching a movie, a good movie. I highly recommend it. It literally took up the better half of my life for the past couple months. I love being apart of a book club (Check out our blog page link, MBC). It has been alot of fun reading different stuff and talking about it. Honestly, it keeps me sane. Lonliness is an unrelenting bitch that shackles you to her cold bed posts while she has her way with you, and you scream for her to stop, for some relief, but it is usually hard to find. I did also see Wicked, finally. IT was awesome. The story is good, the music is great. If you haven't seen it, even if you don't like musicals, I recommend it. Good stuff!!! I don't know what to do with myself. I find myself constantly wrestling with my own thoughts, my opinons, my beliefs, my disbeliefs. Sometimes, I even lose sleep over it. I'm glad I can talk to my friends about things and it truly does help to hear their support and their thoughts. I guess I would just like a break every once in a while. I try to be a person that cares about others but it's hard when you feel like such a collosal fuck-up. I hope that I am more of a blessing than a burden to those I run across. And if I fail you, I truly am sorry. I remember thinking when I was a child that life would get easier when I got older. But the truth is, it is just life. It doesn't get easier or harder, it just is. It's a series of experiences and choices and you learn as you go and realize that it has always been difficult and yet here you are, somehow, miraculously. At least, that's how I see it. Maybe that's why I like the movie "Curious case of Benjamin Button" so much. Time is neutral. IT doesn't shift favor when it starts or passes by. Whether old to young or young to old, it is the experiences and choices that meet us along the way that shape us and effect us more deeply than anything else. IT is also interesting how I am writing a hell of alot more than I had expected to when I started. Kinda funny. Do me a favor. Go outside and smell the air. I love the smell of Fall. So crisp and clean. Reminds me of childhood. Also, visit a authentic Irish Pub and get yourself a pint of true, slow-poured Guinness out of the tap. It just might bring your life a little extra joy. I think that's good for now.