What we want!

I'm struck by so many examples in my life that just seem to reaffirm that we as humans really strive for one thing, love. We look for it in so many different places, jobs, school, church, nature, ect. but are hardly satisfied. I started thinking about why this is. I think maybe one reason is all these places and things represent something different. What I mean is we have turned love into something different for each individual. How can it really, purely exist if this is the case. In my opinion, love has to be concrete and absolute. It is the most powerful thing we have. It cannot be allowed to be tossed around by the wind. Otherwise, we will be tossed around as well and we can't last that long. How can we love one another, much less find love if it is different everywhere we turn? Rich Mullins has a song called Maker of Noses where he says at one point, the world tells you to follow your nose, but everytime you turn your head the direction changes. I think this is the same problem with love, "man-altered". We can't be sure of anything when nothing is sure. I think love, real love can be found in Jesus' example in the Bible, and it is a good place to look to. But untill we can aggree what it really is, we will always fall short. Luckily for me, I have seen examples of Christ lived out before me and have felt a love that is freeing and consistent. So all I can do is cling to it as hard as I can and hope that I can resemble that example as well. Even then, I confess, I'm not completely satisfied. Counting Crows have a song called Goodnight L.A. where Adam is talking about being in a depressed state. The chorus says "And what brings me down is love, cause I can never get enough". That is beautiful. He nails it. I often feel like love is what makes us so down because it never stays full. But that is also what life is about. Tasting something so good that you strive and press on so you can experience it again. I thank God for the people in my life and the love I have experienced. It is real and I do feel blessed. I just hope that more and more people can see it for what it is and not for what we have made it. As Jon Foreman says, Love isn't made. It was here before any of us. How lucky we are to be able to experience it. It is, after all, what we all want in our lives. But we also want consistency and mercy, not judgement and abandonment masquerading as love. Life just isn't worth it without it. Peace and love everybody.

Nothing gets easier!!

I think it is funny how life seems to always throw you down the difficult paths. I know I often wish things would just get easier and worries would leave me for good. But it never happens. I guess that is the curse of living in a fallen world. It is just so hard sometimes. It seems like your trying so hard to love those around you and be content with who you are and move forward in what you believe is right and the more you try and do that, the more shit falls in your way. It can get pretty madening at times. But at the same time, I must say I think the challenges we face can be good for us. After all, it keeps us alive and aware at all times of life and what it means to genuinly live it. I guess you just get tired and want a break sometimes, that's all. I'm rambling, I'm sorry. I am happy where God has me right now. Although, it sucks not yet meeting the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Aside from that, I do feel blessed and I think because I feel blessed, it makes it easier to wait. On a more fun, random note, John Knight and I went down to San Francisco yesterday to see Counting Crows at the Apple Store for free. Besides, not being able to see them while they were playing, it was good and we had fun. I did get to briefly, and I mean very briefly, meet Adam Duritz which was cool. He is after all a huge musical influence of mine. He was giving an autograph to a little kid and as I walked by, I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Your music inspires me". He said, "Thanks". Hopefully, it wasn't too creepy for him. I wish I could have talked to him more, but the situation wouldn't allow it. I think John shook his hand, too, but I could be wrong. Anyway, it was cool to see all of the guys just out mingling with everybody there. Adam talked alot too about the songs and he answered some questions as well. Sometimes, he talked too long, way too long. But I still think it was worth it. If anything, just for the personal factor that it had. You felt like he actually cared about his fans and their questions. So that was fun. And life rolls on. Thanks to anyone who is still reading this scattered piece of bloggery. Just know that life never gets easier, but as long as we try to really love one another, it can get better. Peace.