Something New!!! (Love has it out for me)

I have been struggling greatly lately. I don't know why, but I haven't wanted anything to do with God or following him. It's been a difficult week with alot of things going wrong and me reacting in a terrible way. I hope God will break through this wall I've put up soon and change my heart. I am concerned about my outlook right now, but there is enough blessings in my life to make me realize how grateful I should be to God for his mercy and grace. Contentment is not easy to have all the time. Anyway, I had a great day today, hanging with Jordan, Ally and Harrison, and doing a Bible study with them. It totally focused on understanding God's will and how our hearts tie in to that. It was much needed for me and exactly what I needed to talk about. Hopefully, it will be a start to me coming around to having a desire to follow God. Anyway, as I have stated before, I have been writing songs lately. It has become my breath of air where I can just vent my feelings onto paper about what I am going through internally. I have about 10 songs and I'm looking forward to recording soon. What I love about these songs is that all of them are related to me in some way or another. They are all very personal. Though I have not shared the songs with most of you, I 've decided to share my lyrics to these songs and hear what you think. If you think they suck, it's okay to tell me, I will not be offended. So here they are: The first song I ever wrote is called Love has it out for me. I wrote it in early December of last year. It's about the struggle of waiting for that special someone to come into your life. It's also about trying to talk about it with people who just either don't want to hear it or just don't want to be bothered with your feelings. Sometimes, your just sick and tired of being patient. Then again, maybe you were never really patient at all. So here they are:

I can’t look at myself anymore
Without looking away
My heart has become a chord that no one wants to hear

Who needs them anyway?
It’s funny how honesty chases people away
I think I’ll stay
Wrapped inside the warmth of another meaningless day

I think I just saw a comet flash through the sky
But there’s no one to share it with me.
When love’s the only thing that has any meaning
Your just longing for her to hold you in her arms
But I feel so lonely, I can barely speak
And she is only a flower inside my dreams
And I am running after her again
But never gaining, she disappears into the wind, into oblivion.

But I stare at all the beautiful people
And wonder how they can look so happy
Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way.

I’m still waiting.

NFC Champions!!!

Alright, I know my football blogs don't go very far with the rest of the bloggers. But as many who are close to me know, it is a part of me and I must express that part of me from time to time. Now is definitely that time. So, as I hope you all know, the Chicago Bears are 2006 NFC Champions and will be headed to Miami to play in Super Bowl 41. They beat the New Orleans Saints 39-14 to win the NFC and head on to the super bowl. The sweetest part of the win was how it happened. All week long, all I heard from people at work, on the street, or on TV, was that the Bears were no match for the Saints high-powered offensive attack. Grossman again got no respect and was expected to fail in what might be a Saints blowout. I love it when the analysts come out and talk like they know everything. Well, once again, all the critics can insert foot in mouth and if they are incapable of doing it themselves, I will gladly help them. The fact of the matter is there was always only one team who dominated the NFC. Only one team that continued to control their own destiny throughout the season. Now, there is only one team who is 15-3 in the entire NFL. That team is the Chicago Bears. And as for the game against the Saints, the Bears didn't just sqeak away with a win, they dropped the hammer on them. It was an outright pummeling, a clear and decisive beating that showed yet again who was the dominant team in the NFC. The Saints practiced indoors all week. What were they thinking? The bears were prepared for frigid weather, it was their kind of game. The snow started falling in the second half and it was a steady 23 degrees. The Saints were crying for their warm beds back in Lousiana. You don't come into Soldier Field not prepared for the weather. But they did and they got punched in the mouth. So, I'm on cloud nine right now. My Bears are in the Super Bowl. I am stoked, but the work is not done. We still have the Indianapolis Colts on Feb. 4th for the big game. I was confident today, but the Bears proved to me even more that we are a force to be reckoned with. We can beat anyone right now. So bring on the Colts. The Monsters of the Midway will be ready, baby!!!! DA BEARSSS!!!!

1 more game!!!!

It has been 21 years since the Chicago Bears were in the Super Bowl. And now they are one game away from going back to the Big Game. It was a nail-biter last weekend and I was so fricken nervous, but the Bears pulled through when it counted. But now the tension begins to build even more. The New Orleans Saints are a very good football team and it promises to be quite a match. I am concerned, although, confident that the Bears will come prepared and ready. Hopefully the excitement and anticipation of being one game away will not distract them too much. Not much else to say. The game is this Sunday at noon. The winner represents the NFC in Miami for the Super Bowl. LETS GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much to learn!!

I have been frustrated lately. Frustrated with myself, but mostly with others. Sometimes I wish they would all go away. I know that I am no piece of cake, but there is something about the characteristics of others that annoys me greatly, even to the point of overlooking my own shortcomings. I have been thinking alot lately about people and how I want to have an impact in their lives. But I always can't get past the little things to see the bigger picture. This last Sunday was one of the best Sundays I have ever had. And I didn't watch any football. It was a fellowship Sunday at Church and I got to talk to alot of different people which I haven't done in awhile. I've been desiring that for a long time. But I think the best part of Sunday was Lilly, Carl's daughter, wanted me to take her outside to play. As we walked around, she pointed out different flowers to me and then we stopped at a puddle where she played for awhile. I just watched her and thought to myself, "How beautiful". Here is a little girl who finds the most joy in all of the simple things of life. It made me wish that I could dwell on these things and not be sucked in to the world's way of running things. For the first time in awhile, I actually felt happy. It was adorable to watch her play while she talked to me, some things of which couldn't be understood. I think children have a way of teaching us about what is really important in life. One of my favorite movies, "Little Miss Sunshine", has a scene where Dwayne, the son, finds out he can't fly airplanes because he is colored blind. When he finds out, he explodes and has an outburst, yelling at his family and wanting to be left alone. The mom tries to talk to him, but he won't listen. Then Olive, his little sister, stumbles down the hill and sits next to him with her little arm around him. In a few seconds, he wipes his tears and gets up with her to hed back up to the family. Dwayne then apologizes for his outburst. I love that scene so much. It just hammers home the power that is behind unconditional love. I think sometimes our best examples of this are found in children. Their innocence can crush even the most stubborn heart. I guess the irony comes in when we think that children have so much to learn in life from us. We're right, they do. But we have so much to learn from them too. I guess it is part of a process I need to go through. To let go of my frustrations and start enjoying where God has me right now. There are many parts of me I despise and if anyone has experienced any of those parts, I apologize. I've got alot left to learn. Thanks Lilly for reminding me that the precious things in life can sometimes be found in a flower or a puddle. Later.

NFC Playoffs!!!

For those who give a crap about football, I have decided to point some stuff out. As many of you know, I am a huge bears fan. I have stuck by them since the year 2000, when I started really following them. It has been 6 years, some have sucked, others have been mediocre, but this year was fantastic. The Bears were dominant throughout the NFC and proved to be a force in the NFC. They sealed up home field advantage and a first-round bye in the playoffs. None of this, however, will matter if they don't get to the Super Bowl. It will actually be much more dissapointing if they don't make it since they had such a great season rather than if they had sucked all year and barely got in. I pride myself in being a bears fan through thick and thin and will defend them to anyone, but I also will tell like it is and will not hesitate to point out weaknesses. I ran into a bears fan the other day who told me that they should start Brian Griese, the back-up quarterback, over Rex Grossman because Grossman gives up the turnovers way too much. While I aggree that Grossman does scare me a little when he has these type of horendous games, I think this fan is thinking in the past. What I mean is that for years, the bears have been noted for their haunting defense. Savage warriors who attack the ball-carrier like a pack of wolves attack their prey. It's beautiful! This is what has made them a force in football. They have been able to have a slow, mediocre offense and win due to their amazing defense. However, of late, the bears have given up way too many points on defense. The secondary has been torched by the Rams, Buccaneers, Lions, and Packers, all of which are bad football teams. Grantid, we have been hurt by numerous injuries in the secondary, one of which is Mike Brown our starting pro-bowl safety. Also we will be without Tommie Harris for the playoffs, who is arguably the best defensive tackle in the game. Injuries have hurt us on D, but if the bears are to make a run for the Super Bowl, they must tighten down on defense and play better in the secondary. I would like to be confident and say that the bears cannot be stopped, especially at home, but I would be lying if I didn't say I was concerned. My concern, though, is not the quarterback. While Grossman has had some tough games, he has also had some tremendous ones. Our problems of late have not been the quarterback, they have been the defense, plain and simple. We could stick Tom Brady or whoever you want back there but if we can't play defense, we will not win. What allowed the bears a chance last year to make the playoffs was their unbelievable ability to stop everyone from scoring. Kyle Orton was our quarterback for most of the year and he sucked. But we still got it done because no one could score on us. This year, the NFC is very weak. In my mind, it is our best chance, with the road to Miami paved through Chicago, to take advantage and win. But Grossman has to relax and make smart decisions, and most importantly, the defense has to buckle down and stop the opposing teams from scoring. Otherwise, I fear that this glorious year that has been so spectacular will be for naught and mediocre will once again be our trademark. C'Mon Chi-town, LET'S GO BEARS!!!!